5 Ways to Feel Empowered in Your Labor & Birth


I’ve placed some beautiful flowers here because I’m about to say something you might not like to hear. You may already know it to be true, but you don’t necessarily love to hear it. Ready?

We are not in complete control over how our labor and birth will go.

Have the control freaks reading this already walked away?

If anyone tries to tell you she knows what kind of labor you will have, she’s lying. No one knows until it happens how your labor is going to go. You may have an instinct, but there’s no way to know for sure. Baby starts labor and Baby can move as he comes down the birth canal, you can make, or not make, positional changes, it might be a wacky time of month (full moon), how much sleep you got, your pelvic shape… there are dozens of factors that impact labor. Few of them are under our control. But, there are some critical elements that we definitely have a say in.

So, I have a question for you. A few actually. 

What is your relationship with control? Are you a friend of the mysterious, the unknown, the free, wild, unpredictable and spontaneous? Are you used to having things done a certain way? Done your way? On time, planned out, and/or checked off a list in a timely manner? Do you live somewhere in between these two worlds?

To some degree, we all like to feel in control. Whether we have intense past trauma, or simply because of our natural humanness, vulnerability is scary. When we feel vulnerable, it’s usually because, to some degree, we feel out of control. For most, the reverse is also true: when we are out of control, we feel vulnerable. And again, to varying degrees, we try to avoid these two circumstances from happening.  

Researcher/story teller/author Brene Browne says this of vulnerability: 

“Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable but they’re never weakness.”

I love this. AND, because we are human beings with nervous systems that can only brave the elements when there is some sense of safety present, I’ve compiled this short yet meaningful list of 5 things you can control in the inherently unpredictable, mostly uncontrollable, awesome, powerful and beautiful journey of giving birth. 

Feel Empowered in Your Labor and Birth by bringing a gentle focus on the following:

  1. Where You Birth

  2. With Whom You Birth

  3. Your Breath

  4. Feeling Good In Your Body

  5. Your Attitude

If the ‘lack of control’ aspect of birth was really freaking you out, I hope this has given some comfort. And, if you want some support flushing these concepts out, when that little pop up appears asking you to enter your email, put your email in and grab my FREE guide with the same name as this journal post: ‘5 Ways To Feel Empowered In Labor & Birth’. On those pages I walk you through digging deeper and navigating these 5 very important choices over which you have nearly complete control. Grab my guide and remember, there is no right way to give birth, there is only what’s right for you!



kara mears